Expected Surprise

Tuesday July 3^rd was a busy day with birthdays, errands and lots of work around the house.  It was Tirza’s 6^th and my Father’s 78^th birthday.  My parents had come into town for some joint celebration and to also help us as we shifted around the kid’s bedroom furniture, sorted and redecorated.  With this summer’s round of birthdays, (Darbi 10 and Riker 14), it seemed appropriate that all the kids room décor saw changes that were more in line with their own growth since we firm moved in 4 years ago.  Riker got a queen sized bed from Ikea and out went the bunk beds and little boy sports theme.  Darbi was thrilled to take the bunk with its built in side desk and associated storage.  Some teal and lime green bedding make it just right for a creative young lady that is a year away from middle school.  And Tirza, the birthday girl, was bequeathed Darbi’s frilly canopy bed.  With kids, changes and growth are so obvious, but all this makes me wonder how I’ve matured and changed over recent years and what observable manifestations should go along with it (1 Corinthians 13:11).  But, I digress… 

My expected surprise came as a phone call while we were driving from Tirza’s annual birthday photo at the JCPenney’s.  I didn’t recognize the number, but answered my cell phone to hear the voice of my doctor.  Of course, I’ve been expecting his call for a couple weeks.  He confirmed my own comparative analysis that the tumor had not changed.  He agreed with my thought that there is no compelling reason to take any medical action at this time and that the best approach is to just monitor the tumor, to watch and wait.  I asked the doctor if I should go ahead and schedule another appointment and MRI in 6 months and was pleasantly surprised when he said “make it a year”.  We exchanged pleasantries and I hung up.  Good hearing, no tumor growth, no need to do anything for a year.  Given my glimpse, this news was both expected and a grand surprise.     

After 6 months of wondering and bracing for the short term potential of radiation and hearing loss, I’ve found myself embarrassed on a couple levels.  The first is that I’ve made this so public and in the end there isn’t much here.  I feel a little like The Boy Who Cried Wolf or perhaps Roseanne Roseannadanna and her famous “Never mind…”  What was a big deal to me hasn’t become much and I’ve wasted people’s time and energy.  I suspect that kind of energy that “it’s not important enough” keeps many people from sharing their stories.  I know that train of thought is very human, but nonetheless real. 

Beyond the humanistic notion “that circumstances just worked out,” my next thought is that God has worked all these things together for good.  My embarrassment in this is that it wasn’t my first thought and probably hasn't been my primary expectation.  As I’ve stated many times, I believe “God can”, but I’ve carefully guarded my heart for the expectation that “He might not” and maybe even at times that “He probably won’t”.  It’s been a big lesson in expectations; human vs. supernatural.  Where was/is my faith?  This outcome of monitoring the tumor longer term isn’t necessarily my dream in terms of a specific “name it and claim it” outcome, but it is certainly a welcome surprise relative to my human “worst case” expectation.  Clearly, with God, we should expect wonderful surprises.   

Do I stop blogging now?  I suppose in terms of my acoustic neuroma, the answer is “tune in this time next year”, but otherwise I do plan to blog about whatever new opportunities to be faithfully expectant of surprises through the love of Christ & fullness of life.