Good and Simple

I was recently talking to a friend about how his eldest son would soon be graduating and heading off to college.  He said how he wished he had more time to spend with his son.  His desire did not seem to be about regret as he spoke fondly of the time and activities they had spent together, nor was it about the need for more time to parent/train/educate his son for “the real world” - the energy was a simple desire for more relationship.  He talked with pride about how his son had made pretty good choices and seemed to be as interested in hanging around him and the rest of family as his high school friends. 

What he expressed was wonderful, but was also unfortunately odd to me as it seems a majority of teenage kids aren’t that interested in spending time with their parents (and visa versa).  While most might “love each other”, I suspect a combination of different schedules, agendas and interests lead them to indifference and ultimately some level of rebellion as the kid &/or parent are more interested in doing their own thing than working to nurture relationship.   

My friend also mentioned that as parents they intentionally reinforced a simple Gospel message to his kids; “that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”  He went on to say that we Christians (and churches and parents) are quick to complicate the Gospel with all kinds of rules that turn people off and drive them away.  The Gospel means “good news” that should bring true joy and freedom, but it is too often reinforced as layers of do’s and don’ts that bring judgment and guilt.    

I know the first part of my friend’s simple Gospel statement to be true, but I’ve struggled a bit with the second.  Does God want me to be happy?  I would agree that he wants what’s best for me and also that I be joyful, but happy?  I suppose I might be nitpicking semantics a bit, but have ultimately reconciled the statement by thinking about my own kids.  I certainly want them to be happy, but I don’t always support their own expressed convictions about what they think they want or need to be happy.  I want the best for them and at times will let them be “unhappy” about something for both their own good and the good of those they will interact with in the future.  No one likes a narcissistic brat, no matter what age. 

My friends comments are challenging to me as a father and as an adopted son of God.  How simple is the Gospel and what do I believe?  How do I parent?  Riker starts high school in a few months and I know those years will pass quickly.  Does he know of my love and desire for more time and depth of relationship?  Does he know I want the very best for him?  Does he know that he has freedom to make good choices and that I want him to reap the benefits from the good rather than the difficult consequences of the bad?  Does he know I’ll always love and forgive him no matter what?  Does he know the extents that I’ll go for him – both to bless him and when needed discipline him for his own good?  Does he know the same of his Heavenly Father?  Do I?  If we really knew and believed it, what all would be different? 

The truth is that I know, but that I'm quick to forget and need reminders.  I got another today as Taya and I helped in Tirza’s Sunday School class.  The story was of Jesus having dinner with Mary and Martha and how Martha missed the opportunity for relationship because she was busy and distracted (Luke 10:38-42).  The message for the kids was “Jesus wants to be your friend” – another good reminder and candidate for a good and simple statement of the Gospel.