I’ve always been pretty good at test taking, well at least
the formal ones I see coming in advance.
My motivation and fuel for performance is some blend of showing that “I’ve
got what it takes” and avoiding the various consequences of poor results. Both categories are full of social
reinforcements… i.e. "what would others think?" While
I naïvely assumed and hoped that most of life’s tests would end with graduation,
I know that they have just
switched from the formal scheduled ones to those that sneak up on you
when you least expect it.
These “pop life tests” are so much less
clear in content, duration and potential consequence, but often so much more important than the academic variety. While the specifics and timing vary by individual, I think the
categories of life’s tests seem fairly universal; academic, relational, financial,
health, etc, etc. What’s even trickier is life’s tests aren’t
always hardship, they also sneak up on us in blessings. My marriage and children are such examples
for me. And the tests just seem to keep
coming, you get through something and here’s something new. Being “middle aged”, you’d think I’d know to
not be surprised, but I still am. A few weeks ago our pastor talked about when Satan tested Jesus (Luke 4:1-15). Not even God's own son avoided tests, trials and temptations. I’m sure you know the story, but I wanted to share how this passage has informed and challenged my “tumor test” thinking. Perhaps there is something here for your current test as well.
Test #1 – temptation to “gain relief” as quickly as possible
& in our own power (verses 2-4). Jesus
was hungry and certainly had the power and perhaps even “the right” to turn a
stone to bread, but instead deferred the immediate physical gratification to acknowledge
a deeper spiritual reality. I must admit
that my first response to learning of my tumor was to “act now and think / feel
later”. I wanted to "fix it" and "kill it" asap, without much consideration of the costs. The complexity of the situation obviously slowed me down a bit and that in turn has given me this opportunity to consider how many other things in my life I address the exact same way. Deferring relief, feeling and pondering aren’t my
strong suits, but there is something to be gained by slowing down
to more vulnerably consider options, opportunities and consequences.
Test #2 – temptation to not trust God (verses 5-8). Satan offers Jesus “glory and authority” over
the kingdoms of the earth if Jesus would honor and “trust in him”. Revelation makes it clear that Jesus will
ultimately have all glory and authority on earth, but Satan’s lure is that this
could be had “right away” and thus avoid reliance on the Father, the pain and
suffering of the cross and waiting for God’s perfect timing. For me, Satan isn’t so blatant that I should “trust
in him”, but I must admit I am quick to want to trust in modern medicine and
modern technology to “solve my problem”.
I believe that God can and does use such to heal, but the core question
still remained, what (who) am I really putting my primary trust and hope into in this situation?
Test #3 – temptation of testing God (verses 9-12). This is a big one and interesting that it follows the test to trust God. Satan uses scriptural truth to encourage
Jesus to force God to show and prove himself.
While I don’t expect many people have been tempted to jump off some high
place to have God prove himself by saving them, I do know we’re all tempted to
somehow test God. “God if you’re real
and really all powerful and all loving, then do this or do that.” For me, I know God acts in this world and also
believe he heals. I can point to
scripture and people where he has healed. While
he can, he doesn’t always – at least not in the way we might expect or
desire. God is God, and while he has and
does go to great lengths to show his love for me (us), he doesn’t need to prove
himself and I should not put him to the test for such either privately or publically. I am reminded of my children; I don't have to prove my power or love for them by giving them something. I love them regardless and sometimes that love is manifest in giving and sometimes the loving thing is saying no or not now.
Through all the various tests, both personal and the ones we
see in the Bible, I find a consistent lesson; they exist to encourage me to
turn my heart to God in humble dependence and in praise. Unfortunately, I’m a slow learner and my
first response too often falls short (very short). Even when I think I learn, I quickly
forget. Thank God for his forgiveness,
grace and patience.
(BTW, thanks for
everyone’s encouragement and prayers. I’ve
also been asked about updates – my intent is to post new entries on the weekends. I’ve also added a “gadget” that by putting in
your address, you’ll get an email anytime I have a new posting so you don’t
have to keep checking. All the best to
you and yours.)
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