Tests

Tests reveal both what you’ve got and what you’re lacking.  

I’ve always been pretty good at test taking, well at least the formal ones I see coming in advance.  My motivation and fuel for performance is some blend of showing that “I’ve got what it takes” and avoiding the various consequences of poor results.  Both categories are full of social reinforcements… i.e. "what would others think?"  While I naïvely assumed and hoped that most of life’s tests would end with graduation,  I know that they have just switched from the formal scheduled ones to those that sneak up on you when you least expect it. 

These “pop life tests” are so much less clear in content, duration and potential consequence, but often so much more important than the academic variety.  While the specifics and timing vary by individual, I think the categories of life’s tests seem fairly universal; academic, relational, financial, health, etc, etc.  What’s even trickier is life’s tests aren’t always hardship, they also sneak up on us in blessings.  My marriage and children are such examples for me.  And the tests just seem to keep coming, you get through something and here’s something new.  Being “middle aged”, you’d think I’d know to not be surprised, but I still am. 

A few weeks ago our pastor talked about when Satan tested Jesus (Luke 4:1-15).  Not even God's own son avoided tests, trials and temptations.  I’m sure you know the story, but I wanted to share how this passage has informed and challenged my “tumor test” thinking.  Perhaps there is something here for your current test as well.

Test #1 – temptation to “gain relief” as quickly as possible & in our own power (verses 2-4).  Jesus was hungry and certainly had the power and perhaps even “the right” to turn a stone to bread, but instead deferred the immediate physical gratification to acknowledge a deeper spiritual reality.  I must admit that my first response to learning of my tumor was to “act now and think / feel later”.  I wanted to "fix it" and "kill it" asap, without much consideration of the costs.  The complexity of the situation obviously slowed me down a bit and that in turn has given me this opportunity to consider how many other things in my life I address the exact same way.  Deferring relief, feeling and pondering aren’t my strong suits, but there is something to be gained by slowing down to more vulnerably consider options, opportunities and consequences.   

Test #2 – temptation to not trust God (verses 5-8).  Satan offers Jesus “glory and authority” over the kingdoms of the earth if Jesus would honor and “trust in him”.  Revelation makes it clear that Jesus will ultimately have all glory and authority on earth, but Satan’s lure is that this could be had “right away” and thus avoid reliance on the Father, the pain and suffering of the cross and waiting for God’s perfect timing.  For me, Satan isn’t so blatant that I should “trust in him”, but I must admit I am quick to want to trust in modern medicine and modern technology to “solve my problem”.  I believe that God can and does use such to heal, but the core question still remained, what (who) am I really putting my primary trust and hope into in this situation? 

Test #3 – temptation of testing God (verses 9-12).  This is a big one and interesting that it follows the test to trust God.  Satan uses scriptural truth to encourage Jesus to force God to show and prove himself.  While I don’t expect many people have been tempted to jump off some high place to have God prove himself by saving them, I do know we’re all tempted to somehow test God.  “God if you’re real and really all powerful and all loving, then do this or do that.”  For me, I know God acts in this world and also believe he heals.  I can point to scripture and people where he has healed.  While he can, he doesn’t always – at least not in the way we might expect or desire.  God is God, and while he has and does go to great lengths to show his love for me (us), he doesn’t need to prove himself and I should not put him to the test for such either privately or publically.  I am reminded of my children; I don't have to prove my power or love for them by giving them something.  I love them regardless and sometimes that love is manifest in giving and sometimes the loving thing is saying no or not now.            

Through all the various tests, both personal and the ones we see in the Bible, I find a consistent lesson; they exist to encourage me to turn my heart to God in humble dependence and in praise.  Unfortunately, I’m a slow learner and my first response too often falls short (very short).  Even when I think I learn, I quickly forget.  Thank God for his forgiveness, grace and patience.

(BTW, thanks for everyone’s encouragement and prayers.  I’ve also been asked about updates – my intent is to post new entries on the weekends.  I’ve also added a “gadget” that by putting in your address, you’ll get an email anytime I have a new posting so you don’t have to keep checking.  All the best to you and yours.)