A Glimpse

Sorry for the delay in writing, I’ve been waiting to hear from my doctor to give you “official results”.  I did have my MRI last Monday morning, and while I haven’t heard from my doctor yet, I do have a glimpse of the results that I can share. 

For those of you that haven’t had the pleasure, MRI’s are noisy, but a piece of cake.  After the standard pre-appointment paperwork, proof of insurance and co-pay, I changed into some glorious scrub pants and a hospital gown.  A kind MRI technician got me comfortable on the sliding table and gave me a painless IV in prep for the “contrast images” toward the end of the MRI.   With ear plugs in place, the automated table slid me back into the hole of the giant donut. A carefully placed mirror allowed me to see both my sock feet and the technician in the adjacent room.  “You comfortable?” she asked over the intercom.  “This first set of images will be about 3 minutes.”  My first MRI lacked this type of play-by-play commentary and with such I did sort of lose track of time as the machine takes about 45 minutes to run through a series of  hums, clicks and knocks.  With about 10-15 minutes to go, the technician came in to inject the fluid “contrast” through the IV.  Some people note almost an immediate metallic taste in their mouth with the contrast, but I lack that particular genetic sequence and sense nothing.  A few more minutes of clanks and clicks and I was sent back to change into my street clothes. 

I dressed and had to go to medical records to request a compact disk of my MRI results.  “I can give you a CD, but they won’t include the radiologist report until for another day or two”.  “I understand, but would still like to have my images, thank you.” 

I, of course, have my images from January so knew that as soon as I could get to my computer, could do my own comparative review.  So what did I find?  I couldn’t find any difference in the tumor.  The new images seemed to be exactly like the previous images.  These tumors typically grow 1-2 mm per year, some more, some less.  I know the doctor will measure precisely and I’m quite curious to hear his report, but from my standpoint the tumor hasn’t changed.  That combine with the results from my hearing test are both wonderful news.  Not apparent growth and normal hearing – truly answers to prayer. 

I must admit, I was hoping that the tumor would be altogether gone – which would have clearly been a miracle healing.  As I’ve previously stated, I know such things happen – God is God after all and what a simple thing for him.  That said, I’m also convinced that no tumor growth and normal hearing are also clearly in the category of God’s work.  As I consider the difference between the tumor being gone and the tumor being stopped, God is no less with either.  The difference is my response, having a tumor leaves me the reminder that I am dependent on God’s on-going work in my life.  It’s true anyway, but we all too often take each breath and each beat of our heart for granted.  The tumor is one more reminder of need and dependence.  I want to be totally healed and totally comfortable, but know that with or without this tumor, it’s not going to happen this side of glory.  For now, we just get glimpses.  Both the glimpses of delight and joy and new or recurring troubles serve the same purpose, reminders that we’re not home yet. 

Gratitude

How am I doing?  What’s going on?

As many of you know, today was my follow-up doctor appointment.  I wasn’t able to get the MRI done today so didn’t get the real scoop on the tumor status, but I am scheduled for an MRI next Monday (6/18) and should hear results within a couple days.  Instead of an MRI, today’s appointment included interaction with the specialist and a new hearing test.  The specialist seemed pleasantly surprised that my symptoms had not changed since my original diagnosis.  He also reported that there was the potential that I could maintain “functional hearing” in my right ear, and while they didn’t really understand all the factors that influenced the result that the patient’s initial hearing strength was a more significant indicator than tumor size.  This was new information and certainly encouraging.   

Following the hearing test, the audiologist reported that while my right hear was slightly worse than my left, my hearing was within normal parameters for my age.  She asked about my symptoms and how I was originally diagnosed.  My only symptom was, and continues to be a slight pressure and slight hearing loss in my right ear.  The audiologist expressed her surprise that an MRI had originally been ordered and that it was very fortunate that it had been and that the acoustic neuroma had been caught so early.

I could complain about having to drive 45 minutes to this specialist, having to wait 20 minutes past my scheduled appointment time to get into the exam room, waiting another 10 minutes for the doctor to come and having to pay a $35 co-pay for a 7 minute interaction, BUT, I am grateful.  I am grateful to have access to health care that both found this relatively rare condition and offers options for dealing with it. 

Grateful is also the word I’d use to describe all the prayers and encouragement offered by friends and family.  Thanks to my brother-in-law and wife for spearheading and coordinating today’s day of prayer.  It’s humbling knowing that people are praying.  I certainly don’t feel worthy of the special attention and it’s hard to admit and ask for help.  Taya used SignUpGenius to organize today’s prayer and it brought another level of humbling gratitude.  There were expected friends and family, but there were also people that I haven’t interacted with in years and years – “a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith.”  I’m grateful that Christ binds us together, regardless of the various circumstances and paths that separate.   

So, how am I doing?  Regardless of the outcome of next week’s MRI, I am encouraged and grateful. 

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.  We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.       Hebrews 12:1-2 (NLT)